But it’s cold! Hurrrrrrrr.

This will come as a shock to absolutely no one, but Jonah Goldberg apparently does not understand the difference between weather and climate.

I really have nothing more to say.  This guy’s a complete idiot.

You’re a loser, too

Rich Lowry, who I usually think is one of the saner Cornerites, posts the following today:

“End the War in Iraq” [Rich Lowry]

That has to be one of my least favorite euphemisms. When Obama and Hillary say that, they mean “lose the war in Iraq.” There is no way to end American involvement in 2009, as Obama promised last night, without losing. Ultimately, we all favor ending the war in Iraq. The difference is that hawks — through defeating al Qaeda and the worst elements of the Shia militias, while creating sustainable security — want to end it on strategically favorable terms. And really end it — if we’re successful, there will continue to be a diminishment in violence. The Obama “end of the war” will lead to more violence in Iraq and the forfeiture of important strategic goals. Again, he’s not talking about ending the war so much as losing.

What Lowry fails to understand is that the hawks’ plan also loses the war in Iraq. The United States’ stated objective in Iraq was not “creating a violent situation, then tapering down said violence.” Instead, it was “creating a stable American-friendly democracy”. As the latter has no immediate chance of actually happening, and that even Lowry acknowledges this with his goalpost shifting, it’s fair to say that his favored plan also loses the war.

In this sense, both the liberal and conservative plans for Iraq both lose the war there. It’s just that the conservative plan to lose the war costs much more in American blood and treasure. It seems absolutely batty to favor the more pricey option to achieve the same result, but remember these are people who lack the mathematical skill to figure out that tax cuts decrease revenue.

Fuck your mother, David Simon

I don’t really think I can express through the written word how angry the latest episode of The Wire has made me. I know I’ve been reticent about this in the past, but fuck it. Massive spoilers and freewheeling expletives below the fold.

An open letter to my fellow Clintonistas

I’ve loved Hillary Clinton my entire political life. Her husband has influenced every political position I hold to this day. I cheered her comeback victory in New Hampshire, and I voted for her in the DC primary last week. Lately, though, it’s become clear that Hillary Clinton cannot win the Democratic nomination for president. She very well may win the Ohio and Texas primaries on March 4th, but she won’t win by enough of a margin to match Barack Obama’s delegate count. I hereby ask her supporters (some of who I know read this blog) to abandon her candidacy and fully back Barack Obama for the presidency of the United States.

This certainly isn’t a decision one would come to lightly, and I’d hope everyone would ignore the time of this posting and recognize that I’m in my right mind while posting this. Clinton can’t win the nomination, but she can win enough delegates to battle until the summer. This would be disastrous for our party’s fortunes, as John McCain has already moved to general election mode. The sooner we rally around one champion, the sooner we can counter his lies and warmongering. Despite any personal rivalry, we know that either candidate for our party’s nomination will make a better president than the man who makes George W. Bush look like a hippie peacenik.

This capitulation by loyal and dedicated Clinton supporters does not have to be so one-sided, though. In my opinion, Obama should promise to back Clinton as Senate majority leader as soon as she gives up her quest for the presidency. She has the potential to be a master of Senate in a way not seen since the days of Lyndon B. Johnson (and certainly in a way not possible under Harry Reid), and such a promotion can immediately turn Clinton from Obama’s vanquished nemesis to his most important ally. Hillary ramming through the progressive legislation that Barack proposes is a theme we can all readily get used to. It’s much better to harness the power of the Clinton machine rather than beat it into the dust of yesteryear.

I know many of you have loyally served Clinton for many a year now, and I know you can’t easily see another as the leader of the Democratic party. Trust me, this pains me as well. However, to continue to try and win the nomination is a fool’s errand. Like it or not, Barack Obama is now our standard bearer. Hillary Clinton still has a large role to play in the coming righting of our country, and I hope both she and Barack are wise enough to see that end.

Let’s just get this out of the way

Now that John McCain is the presumptive Republican nominee, I wish to preemptively clarify something. Yes, his name is very similar to mine, and yes, we are both of Irish ancestry. But no, we are not related. This should be obvious due to the fact that we have different last names.

I know most of you are going “Well, duh” right now, and you’re right. But I’ve been asked about my possible kinship with the Arizona senator numerous times since he gained a national profile, and I just want to nip this in the bud if I can.

Still speciesist. Still proud.

Remember back in November when I posted about Edythe London, the UCLA scientist whose home was flooded by the Animal Liberation Front?  Well, they came back to finish the job last week, burning down her house.

Mark Hoofnagle at Denialism Blog has an excellent post up reiterating why animal rights extremists are enemies of science, you should read the whole thing.  All I want to say is that if you support PETA, this is the kind of shit you’re actually supporting.  Ingrid Newkirk supports terrorists, and if you write checks to PETA, so do you.

I exercised my rights! (provisionally)

Well that was certainly the most interesting time I’ve ever had voting.

I left work around 5 and headed over to the Hill to cast my ballot, still undecided but determined to have my say nonetheless.  Emerging from the Union Station metro stop, I ran across Columbus Circle to catch the bus that would take me the rest of my journey.  It seems I miscalculated the effects of that day’s weather, for after crossing the street at full gallop my feet flew in front of me and I promptly crashed my hip and elbow onto the concrete.  In serious pain, I managed to gather myself together and board the waiting 96 bus.

In hindsight, I should have given up right then and there.

Before I continue, I need to write a few words about my voter registration status.  I’ve been a registered Democrat in the District since moving to Capitol Hill, all under the name of “John K. Cain”.  Of course, that is not me, as my middle name is Joseph.  Some clerk apparently had a typo while entering my information, and being the lazy man I am, I never called to fix their error.  Election after election, I voted as John K. Cain and heard nary a peep.

Additionally, over a year ago I moved from the south side of Lincoln Park to the north side.  Not only did this prompt a change in quadrant,  it required a change in polling precinct.  Displaying my previously mentioned laziness, I never reported this change to the Board of Elections either, and kept voting at my old precinct, the aforementioned Episcopal church.

Back to the story at hand:  I arrived at the church only to find my name (or “name” as it were) absent from the rolls.  Disenfranchisement was afoot!  I suspect at some point since the last election, they compared the names on the voting rolls to those on tax returns and booted ones that didn’t match.  As I’ve been paying taxes under my real, non-typo’d name and that apparently there isn’t a John K. Cain residing in the District of Columbia, I was given the boot.

I was able to vote provisionally, although I don’t know if my vote will count.  I got my sticker though, goddamnit, and that’s good enough.

Oh, and I voted for Clinton.   Leave your high-fives (Sam) and disapproving gazes (Mike) in the comments.

Andrew Sullivan Is An Insufferable Prick

Does Andrew Sullivan really think that this post is worthy of The Atlantic’s imprimatur? Leave aside the vapid political analysis (only Democrats vote in red state Democratic primaries, you imbecile). It’s nothing more that an angry personal rant, full of snide potshots that Sully somehow thinks are deep insights into the campaign. This isn’t cogent political analysis, it’s the half-assed musings of a bitter, hateful man.

It’s time to end the “Andrew Sullivan Is Always Wrong” series. I never really wanted to turn this blog into fireandrewsullivan.com, but I’m finding that I am infuriated by this man on a daily basis. Better to end the series now before letting things get out of hand.

To conclude things, let me just say that Sully is the worst sort of public intellectual. He forms his opinions not by weighing evidence and analyzing the facts, but by comparing interpretations of events to a list of people and ideas that he likes or dislikes. He stubbornly holds on to the interpretation that best confirms his preexisting biases, evidence to the contrary be damned. He’s a weak mind with a big voice, an asshole in search of bigger and bigger venues that will tolerate the shit he spews.

Junk in the trunk

Tom Toles, was it really necessary to draw Hillary Clinton with such a fat ass? I mean, really?

Can I vote out of spite?

Since Super Tuesday is fast approaching, I think I should come out and say who I’m supporting in the race for the Democratic nomination. But first, my voting history.

I turned 18 in 1998, so was robbed of the opportunity to vote for Bill Clinton, who I would have wholeheartedly supported. I was very influenced by the Third Way movement and centrism in general, and I’m still somewhat of a hawk and an avowed capitalist. Thus, my first presidential vote was for Al Gore in 2000. As we all know, that turned out swimmingly.

In 2004 I did volunteer work for Joe Lieberman in DC and in New Hampshire the weekend before the primary. Again, way for me to pick the winning horse. I was still backing the Iraq war then, and he was the only Democrat still behind it whose trade policies I could stand (as opposed to Gephardt). After Lieberman dropped out, I eventually made one of the largest misjudgments of my political life: I backed Bush.

I almost immediately knew my Bush vote was an irrational reaction to insufferable liberals in my midst, and it really hit home after Katrina. I vowed never again to let contrarianism or personal antipathy conflict with my good sense ever again, As more and more horrors of the Bush White House were exposed, I resolved to be a better Democrat and to never vote GOP at the national level again. In the years since the 2004 election, I’ve repudiated both the Iraq war and George W. Bush, and have probably moved as far to the left as I ever have in my life.  Still, though, I’m still relatively centrist.  I want the Iraq war to end, yet I want US troop levels in Afghanistan tripled.  I want the Bush tax cuts reversed, yet I want CAFTA passed and the Doha round completed.  I want universal health care passed and the FDA’s budget doubled.

The Democratic field this year has narrowed itself down to the only two candidates I was comfortable with in the first place.  Dodd and Biden were never going to win, and Gravel was hobbled by his resemblance to Abe Simpson.  I’ve always hated Kucinich for the alternative medicine/New Age hokum.  John Edwards apparently thought he could end globalization simply through the power of his massive empathy for the working man, which always struck me as retarded.  I lean Clinton for the formative reasons I outline above, but I can say truthfully that I’m completely open to Obama.  I haven’t bought into his Messaih complex, nor do I buy Clinton’s experience argument.  I am the very model of an undecided voter.

DC votes a week after Super Tuesday, so I still have some time to make up my mind.   Assuredly, the above will make my blogpals and readers think I’m much more conservative than I’ve let on in the past, and that’s probably true.   In any case, that’s where I stand heading into today’s primaries, and I thought you all should know.

To get to back to this post’s title, every time Andrew Sullivan posts anything about Hillary, I am severely tempted to vote for her, if only to piss him off.   Posts like this, where he suddenly cares about feminism, simply drive me up the wall.  His entire shtick this primary season has been to pretend to give a damn about all sorts of liberal ideals in an effort to show how Hillary is betraying them.  He is, for lack of a less bloggy term, the ultimate concern troll, and I hope he realizes that every word he posts on her only drives more people into her fold, if only in disgust for his obvious hatred and preening.

That said, I’ve learned my lesson, and my vote will not be dictated by the revulsion I feel for the supporters of any particular candidate.  Still, to see Sullivan writhe in pain as the second President Clinton is inaugurated is something I would give my right arm to see.