Archive for October, 2008|Monthly archive page

My sole endorsement

I have a very low-traffic blog, so I know damn well that my endorsement of anyone for any office would be an exercise in self-wankery and have very little impact.  I know most of the people who read this, and those I don’t know can likely acertain which politicians I support by simply reading the blog.  There are very few races where I feel that my opinion, let alone an official endorsement, could sway any votes.

This year, however, I’ve found a race where the vote tally is small and my friends seem to be trending in the wrong direction:  the non-Democrat At-Large seat for the DC City Council.  For some reason, some people I know think supporting incumbent Carol Schwartz (R) in her quixotic write-in campaign (she lost this year’s GOP primary) is a good idea.  Perhaps it’s Ms. Schwartz tendency to call everyone “hon”, maybe it’s her status as a gay camp icon, but it certainly can’t be because she supports any good policies.   Simply put, Carol Schwartz is a horrible candidate.

Therefore, I am officially endorsing Patrick Mara (R) for at-large City Council.  As Dave Alpert of Greater Greater Washington notes, Mara doesn’t own a car, bikes to work, and is supportive of bike- and pedestrian-friendly initiatives.  And as a Republican, he’s likely to oppose all sorts of onerous over-zoning of the city.  If we must have a Republican on the council, better to have one that thinks we live in a city as opposed to one that thinks of DC as a glorified suburb.

P.S. Independent (but really Democratic) candidate Michael Brown is also running for this seat.  All I know about Michael Brown is that he’s run for nearly every elected office in the District of Columbia, from mayor to shadow senator, and he’s lost handily every time.  I think it’s our duty as citizens to make sure he gets the hint this time.

UPDATE (10/30/2008): Matthew Yglesias and Dave Alpert also endorse Mara.

Welcome to Crazytown

An anonymous web commenter claims to work for the Obama campaign and have knowledge of a vast conspiracy to rig poll results, manipulate the media, and “infiltrate YouTube videos” on behalf of the Obama campaign.  The comment is in reply to a post at Hillbuzz where the author thinks an audiotape of Michelle Obama saying all sorts of craziness is about to be released because her traffic is down.  And of course, said audiotape is supposedly a recording from when Michelle called up the folks at a wordpress blog.  A wordpress blog that said they were going to release the tape a week ago and still haven’t.

So again, a crazy implausible story set in the comments of another crazy implausible post about a third crazy implausible story.  All of which have absolutely no evidence behind them.  Riverdaughter’s reaction:

We have no confirmation that Sarah P. is what she says she is but her story sure sounds right. It’s what we have independently observed since the beginning of the primary season.  Sarah’s testimony is very plausible.  It is one big game of psychological warfare perpetrated on us by Obama and his sneaky campaign.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, she’s finally lost it.  Riverdaughter has certainly never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, but this is just magical thinking at it’s worst.  In this post, you have seen Riverdaughter lose her last bit of critical thinking faculty, and really, it’s just fucking sad.

I imagine this “confession” is so appealing to Riverdaughter because it strokes her and the other PUMAs’ egos in just the right way.  From the comment at Hillbuzz:

We pay people and organize people to go to all the online sites and “play the part of a clinton or mccain supporter who just switched our support for obama”

We do this to stifle your motivation and to destroy your confidence.

We did this the whole primary and it worked.

Next, we infiltrate all the blogs and all the youtube videos and overwhelm the voting, the comments, etc. All to continue this appearance of overwhelming world support.

This brilliantly validates the persecution complex Riverdaughter and the rest of PUMAs have been cultivating since the primaries.  Despite all facts to the contrary, they have a psychological need to feel that their enemies care about them, and that world events are transpiring exactly the way they wish.  They want to be persecuted, because it means that their movement is important and powerful.  So Riverdaughter relies on an anyonymous internet comment rather than empirical data, because the latter is not telling her exactly what she wants to hear.  No one really disagrees with her, they’re just all paid hacks.  And Obama’s not really winning, it’s just one massive conspiracy to deny the TROOF!

I tell you what, Riverdaughter, maybe you’re right, maybe the Obama campaign is doing everything this “Sarah P.” says they are.  How do you know she’s not one of the paid hacks?  Did you think of that?  Maybe she posted this comment to make you and all the other PUMAs complacent.  It’s psy-ops at it’s worst!

Let me let you in on a little secret, Riverdaughter:  Sarah P. is really Michelle Obama.  How do I know this?  Well because she called me up the other day.  She told me that she’s doing her best to ratfuck the PUMAs, because in reality there are millions of them and they could swing the election to McCain.  She even mentioned you personally, saying how dangerous you were because you were convincing millions of Hillary voters to vote for McCain or stay home.  Little did Michelle know that I recorded the whole conversation, and I’ll be posting it here tomorrow.  This is going to blow the election wide open.

Nana nana nana nana

So I uncharacteristically ended up going out to some clubs this weekend (I’m usually a bar man).  Who did I happen to spy on the other side of the dance floor?

That’s right, Hipster Batman.

He was no where near as suave as I imagined he’d be.

Everyone named Joseph is a sanctimonious prick

At least that what I’d have to conclude if I subscribed to the logic of one Joseph Cannon.  Displaying his usual penchant for preeing sanctimoniousness and righteous anger, Joseph waxes hyberbolic at his blog today, noting that the mugging of Ashley Todd obviously indicates that:

Obama has given rise to a Mao-like cult of personality. He has never done anything to rein in these Messianic illusions — in fact, he has fostered them. That attitude gives him indirect responsibility for the violence committed and threatened by his followers.

Riiiiiiiight.  Nevermind the fact that according to her own story, she was mugged before the attacker saw the McCain sticker on her car (meaning the attack was not initially political).  Or that noted liberal Michelle Malkin thinks it’s possible that this might be a hoax.  No, to Joseph, this obviously means that rioting horde of Obama supporters will launching pogroms tomorrow, wiping out all unbelievers of the One.

Ye gods.

This is, of course, Joseph’s schtick:  guilt by association run amok.  One Obama supporter (most likely mentally deranged) committs an act of violence, thus the millions of other Obama supporters in this country are about to start killing everyone.  And Barack Obama himself is ultimately responsible, because…well, because Joseph hates him a lot.  As an Obama supporter, I take personal offense that Joseph thinks I’m about to start murdering people, but Joe’s pretty set in his persecution complex, so I doubt he gives a rat’s ass.

Incidentally, this is basically how Joseph became an Obama hater in the first place.  He supported Hillary Clinton in the primaries (as did I), and he got into internet spats with some people at Daily Kos and Democratic Underground, so he blamed their meanness on Barack Obama, and became an anyone-but-Obama voter.  Now to someone who’s life doesn’t revolve around DK and DU, that might seem like an extemely petty and stupid reason to completely change one’s political ideology, but ole Joe’s been running with it since the primaries.

So following Joseph’s lead, I’m just going to assume from now on that all people that share his name are sanctimonious hyperbolic pricks.  And should anyone ever cross me, whether they be an 18 year old in his parents’ basement going by the handle of “drfunky571992″ or merely a two year old who calls me “poopyface”, I’m going to ultimately blame their actions on one Joseph Cannon.  I’m fraught with anticipation for my new life of lonliness and crippling anger.

UPDATE (10/24/2008 1:49 PM EDT): Ashley Todd just admitted she made the whole thing up.  I’m sure a correction from Joseph will be forthcoming.

They Are Who We Thought They Were

I’ve remarked before that PUMAs are perhaps the stupidest group of people I’ve ever encountered on the internet (well, short of YouTube commenters).  Lady Boomer NYC provides the example par excellence in describing her secret weapon to take down Barack Obama:

Concurring with riverdaughter about the anger, I think it’s time to bring out the heavy-duty tools—as in prayer and intention! You know about The Secret? Sshhh, don’t tell, but as Norman Vincent Peale and healers believe, “You Can If You Think You Can.” It’s like The Little Engine That Could, right? I saw The Secret the movie, didn’t read the book, hah, but it’s about manifesting your life by feeling, thinking, seeing, and being your intention in every cell of your body. Actually, that’s how I work with chronic pain as a somatic practitioner and hands-on-healer.

Group prayer can create miracles for its willing recipients.

I’m not saying only pray. I’m saying pray and take action. Harriet says: Be pro-active! Do whatever you can to stop Obama.

I’ll link to Skeptico’s classic takedown of The Secret, but really, if you have to be told that you can’t use magic to manifest your innermost desires, you’re probably past the point of listening to any sort of reason at all.  I’m not at all shocked that Lady Boomer NYC is an alternative medicine provider, either; it takes the same sort of intellectual laziness to dish out bullshit medicine as it does to swallow the cockamamie logic of PUMA adherents.  Only in a movement so ensconced in groupthink and conspiracy theories could such a person be thought of as an intellectual.  

Final Debate Blogging

I’ll again be liveblogging the rubber match between Sens. McCain and Obama over at NYU Local.  Check me out!

I only blog live, apparently

I’ll be liveblogging the debate over at NYU Local tonight.  Stop by and take a gander.

Please Stop Ruining Things I Love

Via Deadspin, there is apparently talk of making a sequel to Bull Durham.  I would just like to go on record saying that this is perhaps the worst idea I’ve ever heard.  Not only is a sequel to this great film completely unnecessary (I mean, are we lacking resolution in the stories of Crash, Annie, and Nuke?), but such a film would have Phantom Menace levels of destructive power towards something I once loved.

So Hollywood, please stop ruining things I love.  And Kevin Costner, oh boy.  You’ve pretty much ruined any reputation as a serious actor you might have once had, but you still have some great movies under your belt.  Don’t go that legacy, however fragile, be destroyed.  You might think Bull Durham II sounds like a great idea, but remember, you’re also the guy who though The Postman was a good idea.  Please, please have the self-awareness to realize this is a bad idea.

liVPeblogging

I’m liveblogging the VP debate over at NYU Local.  Yes, I know I have absolutely no connection to NYU, but just go with it, ok?

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