Archive for the ‘PUMA Bashing’ Category

Go to Hell, Everyone

Just to counter FDL, Corrente, Kos, and Open Left, let me just say that you motherfuckers are killing the liberal movement (I’m not ever going to bother addressing the PUMAs, who are only in this game to oppose Obama, nothing else).  The Overton Window shifts left when the Republicans cease being a national party, not because you blogged about single payer a lot.  At that point, the Democrats can split into a center-left and left party that can both win national elections.

Anyone on the left who opposes the president now is favoring this shift happening during their generation at the expense of this shift happening at all. You are all a bunch of selfish bastards who deserve to die in a fire; you are certainly not anyone who’s “keeping Obama honest”.  Your shortsightedness will be all of our ruin.

Context!

Grar!

Grar! Feminism!

Part of the mental illness that is PUMA is the delusion that Sarah Palin is a super-secret liberal.  PUMAs hold this belief despite Palin’s stated positions on the issues, her actions as governor of Alaska and mayor of Wasilla, and her lack of any positive record when it comes to gay or women’s rights.  To PUMAs, it’s as if simply having a vagina confers all sort of progressive credibility on Gov. Palin,  never mind her self-professed status as a right-wing fundamentalist wingnut.

None has been more outspoken in this delusion than Egalia, the proprietor of Tennessee Guerilla Women.  So it’s no shock, then, to see Egalia gushing over Palin’s recent pick of Morgan Christen to the Supreme Court of Alaska.  Christen is a former board member of Planned Parenthood and seems to be legitimately on the right side of most issues.    To Egalia, this is proof positive that Palin really is the pro-choice feminist of the PUMA hivemind’s dreams, and Gov. Palin is somehow owed an apology by those who (correctly) called her pro-life right winger during the campaign.

If this was all there is to the story, that might very well be right.  However, Egalia and her PUMA friends are purposely ignoring quite a bit of context to this pick.  From the Washington Times writeup (HT:  Andrew Sullivan):

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin had to make a tough choice in filling a vacant slot on her state’s Supreme Court: Appoint a woman who once served on the board of Planned Parenthood, or risk giving an environmentalist lawyer, also pro-choice on abortion, the chance to become an activist judge.

He admitted, however, that Mrs. Palin was “backed into a corner” by the state’s system for selecting judges, known as the “Missouri Plan.” Alaska’s constitution requires an independent panel to vet and then submit choices to the governor when positions on the court open up. The only names the panel submitted for consideration were Judge Christen and Mr. Smith – neither an obvious conservative choice.

She didn’t have the ability to go out and pick anyone she wanted,” said Palin communications director Bill McAllister.

(Bold mine)

So Palin was forced by Alaskan law to choose between a liberal pro-choicer and a liberal pro-choicer and chose a liberal pro-choicer.  Egalia wants to give Palin credit for this?  Especially when Palin’s own staffer says that Judge Christen would not have been Palin’s pick had she a freer hand?

I’m sure Egalia’s next project is to portray Laura Sessions Stepp as a radical feminist.  With a little bit of quote mining and a whole lotta lying, it should be a snap.

Photo by Flickr user smiteme used under a Creative Commons license.

Fire Caro!

Lambert and Vastleft at Corrente are always complaining that they’re not PUMAs or racists, but instead trying to critique Barack Obama from the left.  Funny, then, that they continue to let Carolyn Kay post on the front page.  Kay, or “Caro” as she’s known online, posts a daily blog roundup.  Of course, most if not all of her recommendations are PUMA blogs, and one in particular (let’s just say that if you don’t read the Confluence, you’d still get to read most of their writing via her posts).  This is harmless enough on its own, but recently it’s come out that she’s a hard core Birther.

Take today’s post, for instance.  Caro notes the Supreme Court’s denial of certiorari for Leo Donofrio’s crazy “natural born citizen” lawsuit with the kind of self-centered pith she’s become (in)famous for:

This decision confirms my belief that the Republican powers that be WANT Obama in the presidency. They must think they have a better chance of discrediting him and the Democratic Party with Obama at the helm.

It’s not that Donofrio’s suit has merit.   It’s that the Republicans are engaged in a giant conspiracy to make the Democrats looks bad by…well, by…electing a Democratic president?  Caro has gone so crazy that she’s gone down the rabbit hole and come out the other side.  She’s spouting a racist right-wing conspiracy theory, blaming right-wingers for not expelling Obama from the presidency.  She’s convinced herself that Obama will somehow discredit Democrats forever, so her ideal solution to protect Democrats is to elect a Republican.   This is a special kind of crazy.  It’s supporting Democrats via Rube Goldberg device.

This ranting isn’t by any means, though, a progressive critique of the President-Elect, which is what Corrente is supposedly all about.  So Lambert and Vastleft, I’ll follow your lead and issue a self-righteous ultimatium:  I’ll start taking you seriously when you shitcan Caro.  Your tolerance of her right-wing bloviations undermines everything you claim to represent, and a dedicated reader of Corrente such as myself deserves nothing less than an end to this bullshit.  What say ye?

UPDATE: Edited for clarity.

An auspicious beginning

Let it be noted, yea blogosphere, that on Sunday, December 7th in the Year of Our Lord 2008, the Confluence fully embraced Birther conspiracy theories.  Imaginary Hillary Clinton, in all her splendor and PUMAnosity, immediately let shtuey know she was pleased by appearing in public in a navy blue pantsuit.

For a site that originally renounced rumors and conspiracy theories about the President-Elect, the Confluence has certainly come a long way.  It’s worth it, then, to restate the essential truth about the various Obama birth certificate/dual citizenship/etc. conspiracy theories:  they are all fundamentally racist arguments.

To explain I’m going to need a little help from Melissa McEwan and the other writers at Shakesville.  They have a long-running series of post entitled the “Obama Racism/Muslim/Unpatriotic/Scary Black Dude Watch“.  The title  is so slashed not because McEwan & Co. are individually chronicling mentions of Obama drenched in racism, or the times he’s called a Muslim or unpatriotic, etc.  The Shakers are instead making the point that these different attacks are the same exact argument. It’s all about casting Barack Obama as “the other”.

Birther conspiracy theories follow in this dubious tradition.  PUMAs and crazy right wingers want to “other”-ize Obama, but are afraid of risking the opprobium that explicit racism would bring down on them.  So instead they speak in code:  he’s a secret Muslim, he doesn’t wear a flag pin, he’s into black liberation theology, he’s a Black Panther, ad nauseum.  “He’s not American” is simply one more way to say “he’s a [n-word], he’s not one of us”.   Their goal isn’t so much to convince anyone (they’d need actual evidence for that), but to signal to other racists that Obama is not to be trusted.  At its heart, it’s an effort to keep the faithful riled up.

The Confluence apparently wants to go down this road, which is sad, but not at all shocking.  The quicker they out themselves as fringe racists, the quicker anyone of consequence will cease to take them seriously.

Stay classy, Uppity Woman

From No Quarter:

Thats some nice racism right there.

And yet PUMAs are constantly mystified why people accuse them of racism.  Ye gods.

Just join the GOP already

Dalinkat over at the Confluence is bragging about a video that exposes Obama voters as the idiots and brainwashed bots she always thought they were.  As it turns out, though, the video is the result of a  right-wing push poll run by John Zogby, the worst pollster alive.  I am shocked that the Confluence would be involved in such obvious ratfuckery. 

What I don’t get is Dalinkat’s post title.  The “Obama voter gene pool”?  What does that even mean?  It’s not like all Obama voters share any sort of heritible characteristics…oh right, she’s talking about black people again.  “The Confluence:  We’re Not Racists, We Just Think Many Stereotypes About Black People Are True.”

 

Also, I’d like to thank myiq2xu for creating this conspiracty theory thread.  It’s quite useful for anti-PUMAs such as myself to have thread where all Conflucians’ batshit insanity is consolidated in one place.  Myiq2xu might have well titled this post “Please Show The Internet That You’re a Complete Idiot”.

Welcome to Crazytown

An anonymous web commenter claims to work for the Obama campaign and have knowledge of a vast conspiracy to rig poll results, manipulate the media, and “infiltrate YouTube videos” on behalf of the Obama campaign.  The comment is in reply to a post at Hillbuzz where the author thinks an audiotape of Michelle Obama saying all sorts of craziness is about to be released because her traffic is down.  And of course, said audiotape is supposedly a recording from when Michelle called up the folks at a wordpress blog.  A wordpress blog that said they were going to release the tape a week ago and still haven’t.

So again, a crazy implausible story set in the comments of another crazy implausible post about a third crazy implausible story.  All of which have absolutely no evidence behind them.  Riverdaughter’s reaction:

We have no confirmation that Sarah P. is what she says she is but her story sure sounds right. It’s what we have independently observed since the beginning of the primary season.  Sarah’s testimony is very plausible.  It is one big game of psychological warfare perpetrated on us by Obama and his sneaky campaign.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, she’s finally lost it.  Riverdaughter has certainly never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, but this is just magical thinking at it’s worst.  In this post, you have seen Riverdaughter lose her last bit of critical thinking faculty, and really, it’s just fucking sad.

I imagine this “confession” is so appealing to Riverdaughter because it strokes her and the other PUMAs’ egos in just the right way.  From the comment at Hillbuzz:

We pay people and organize people to go to all the online sites and “play the part of a clinton or mccain supporter who just switched our support for obama”

We do this to stifle your motivation and to destroy your confidence.

We did this the whole primary and it worked.

Next, we infiltrate all the blogs and all the youtube videos and overwhelm the voting, the comments, etc. All to continue this appearance of overwhelming world support.

This brilliantly validates the persecution complex Riverdaughter and the rest of PUMAs have been cultivating since the primaries.  Despite all facts to the contrary, they have a psychological need to feel that their enemies care about them, and that world events are transpiring exactly the way they wish.  They want to be persecuted, because it means that their movement is important and powerful.  So Riverdaughter relies on an anyonymous internet comment rather than empirical data, because the latter is not telling her exactly what she wants to hear.  No one really disagrees with her, they’re just all paid hacks.  And Obama’s not really winning, it’s just one massive conspiracy to deny the TROOF!

I tell you what, Riverdaughter, maybe you’re right, maybe the Obama campaign is doing everything this “Sarah P.” says they are.  How do you know she’s not one of the paid hacks?  Did you think of that?  Maybe she posted this comment to make you and all the other PUMAs complacent.  It’s psy-ops at it’s worst!

Let me let you in on a little secret, Riverdaughter:  Sarah P. is really Michelle Obama.  How do I know this?  Well because she called me up the other day.  She told me that she’s doing her best to ratfuck the PUMAs, because in reality there are millions of them and they could swing the election to McCain.  She even mentioned you personally, saying how dangerous you were because you were convincing millions of Hillary voters to vote for McCain or stay home.  Little did Michelle know that I recorded the whole conversation, and I’ll be posting it here tomorrow.  This is going to blow the election wide open.

Everyone named Joseph is a sanctimonious prick

At least that what I’d have to conclude if I subscribed to the logic of one Joseph Cannon.  Displaying his usual penchant for preeing sanctimoniousness and righteous anger, Joseph waxes hyberbolic at his blog today, noting that the mugging of Ashley Todd obviously indicates that:

Obama has given rise to a Mao-like cult of personality. He has never done anything to rein in these Messianic illusions — in fact, he has fostered them. That attitude gives him indirect responsibility for the violence committed and threatened by his followers.

Riiiiiiiight.  Nevermind the fact that according to her own story, she was mugged before the attacker saw the McCain sticker on her car (meaning the attack was not initially political).  Or that noted liberal Michelle Malkin thinks it’s possible that this might be a hoax.  No, to Joseph, this obviously means that rioting horde of Obama supporters will launching pogroms tomorrow, wiping out all unbelievers of the One.

Ye gods.

This is, of course, Joseph’s schtick:  guilt by association run amok.  One Obama supporter (most likely mentally deranged) committs an act of violence, thus the millions of other Obama supporters in this country are about to start killing everyone.  And Barack Obama himself is ultimately responsible, because…well, because Joseph hates him a lot.  As an Obama supporter, I take personal offense that Joseph thinks I’m about to start murdering people, but Joe’s pretty set in his persecution complex, so I doubt he gives a rat’s ass.

Incidentally, this is basically how Joseph became an Obama hater in the first place.  He supported Hillary Clinton in the primaries (as did I), and he got into internet spats with some people at Daily Kos and Democratic Underground, so he blamed their meanness on Barack Obama, and became an anyone-but-Obama voter.  Now to someone who’s life doesn’t revolve around DK and DU, that might seem like an extemely petty and stupid reason to completely change one’s political ideology, but ole Joe’s been running with it since the primaries.

So following Joseph’s lead, I’m just going to assume from now on that all people that share his name are sanctimonious hyperbolic pricks.  And should anyone ever cross me, whether they be an 18 year old in his parents’ basement going by the handle of “drfunky571992″ or merely a two year old who calls me “poopyface”, I’m going to ultimately blame their actions on one Joseph Cannon.  I’m fraught with anticipation for my new life of lonliness and crippling anger.

UPDATE (10/24/2008 1:49 PM EDT): Ashley Todd just admitted she made the whole thing up.  I’m sure a correction from Joseph will be forthcoming.

They Are Who We Thought They Were

I’ve remarked before that PUMAs are perhaps the stupidest group of people I’ve ever encountered on the internet (well, short of YouTube commenters).  Lady Boomer NYC provides the example par excellence in describing her secret weapon to take down Barack Obama:

Concurring with riverdaughter about the anger, I think it’s time to bring out the heavy-duty tools—as in prayer and intention! You know about The Secret? Sshhh, don’t tell, but as Norman Vincent Peale and healers believe, “You Can If You Think You Can.” It’s like The Little Engine That Could, right? I saw The Secret the movie, didn’t read the book, hah, but it’s about manifesting your life by feeling, thinking, seeing, and being your intention in every cell of your body. Actually, that’s how I work with chronic pain as a somatic practitioner and hands-on-healer.

Group prayer can create miracles for its willing recipients.

I’m not saying only pray. I’m saying pray and take action. Harriet says: Be pro-active! Do whatever you can to stop Obama.

I’ll link to Skeptico’s classic takedown of The Secret, but really, if you have to be told that you can’t use magic to manifest your innermost desires, you’re probably past the point of listening to any sort of reason at all.  I’m not at all shocked that Lady Boomer NYC is an alternative medicine provider, either; it takes the same sort of intellectual laziness to dish out bullshit medicine as it does to swallow the cockamamie logic of PUMA adherents.  Only in a movement so ensconced in groupthink and conspiracy theories could such a person be thought of as an intellectual.  

Adventures in Circular Logic

Shorter Riverdaughter:  PUMAs are smarter than other Democrats because they chose Hillary Clinton, who was obviously the smarter choice.

I’ll have to file this away with “she’s obviously very mature to be dating a man my age” and “Homeopathy works because I feel better” under examples I readily use to highlight this particular fallacy.

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