Pick it up, Rudy. Oi!
Over at Hit & Run, Jesse Walker tortuously works in a Specials reference while discussing Rudy Giuliani’s bizarre decision to root for the Red Sox in the World Series. To which commenter “mlt” then replies:
I had been expecting an entire primary season filled with Rudy-Ska puns, jokes, clips, etc. Why the delay?
Ask and ye shall receive, my child. Below is the official guide to using ska songs while referencing Giuliani’s candidacy.
- “Rudie Can’t Fail” – The Clash
This should be immediately adopted as the Giuliani campaign’s official theme song. What could be more Reganesque than pumping up the base using music written by those who abhor your politics? (Link is to a Mescaleros’ version, as I couldn’t find The Clash’s on YouTube)
- “Rudy Got Soul” – Desmond Dekker
Perfect for what is sure to be Hizzoner’s excruciatingly awkward first appearance at an African-American church.
- “Rudies All Around” – Hepcat
Like most candidates, Giuliani will be criss-crossing the country on Super Tuesday. You’ll need to title your roundup post something, especially after you went for broke with “Romneypresent”. Bonus: the next line in the song is “Rudy don’t care”.
- “Rudi Got Married” – Laurel Aitken
If I really have to tell you how to use this song, you have no business in political punditry.
- “Run Rudy Run” – The Toasters
It’s kind of late for this now that he’s already in the race, but surely it can be put to good use as a caption on a jogging photo.
- “Rudy’s Back” & “Rudy in Paris” – The Scofflaws
The first needs to portend fear and dread, and if possible should be written in blood. The post should begin like so: “Iowans panicked and fled in terror today as Rudolph Giuliani returned to Des Moines with a promise to ‘knock on every door in the state’ in the run-up to Tuesday’s Republican primary.”
I can see no possible use for the second song.
I see this as an ongoing project; feel free to leave suggestions in the comments, though this would be much easier if we could somehow get Giuliani to adopt the nickname “Rudeboy”. Internet, get on that!