I exercised my rights! (provisionally)
Well that was certainly the most interesting time I’ve ever had voting.
I left work around 5 and headed over to the Hill to cast my ballot, still undecided but determined to have my say nonetheless. Emerging from the Union Station metro stop, I ran across Columbus Circle to catch the bus that would take me the rest of my journey. It seems I miscalculated the effects of that day’s weather, for after crossing the street at full gallop my feet flew in front of me and I promptly crashed my hip and elbow onto the concrete. In serious pain, I managed to gather myself together and board the waiting 96 bus.
In hindsight, I should have given up right then and there.
Before I continue, I need to write a few words about my voter registration status. I’ve been a registered Democrat in the District since moving to Capitol Hill, all under the name of “John K. Cain”. Of course, that is not me, as my middle name is Joseph. Some clerk apparently had a typo while entering my information, and being the lazy man I am, I never called to fix their error. Election after election, I voted as John K. Cain and heard nary a peep.
Additionally, over a year ago I moved from the south side of Lincoln Park to the north side. Not only did this prompt a change in quadrant, it required a change in polling precinct. Displaying my previously mentioned laziness, I never reported this change to the Board of Elections either, and kept voting at my old precinct, the aforementioned Episcopal church.
Back to the story at hand: I arrived at the church only to find my name (or “name” as it were) absent from the rolls. Disenfranchisement was afoot! I suspect at some point since the last election, they compared the names on the voting rolls to those on tax returns and booted ones that didn’t match. As I’ve been paying taxes under my real, non-typo’d name and that apparently there isn’t a John K. Cain residing in the District of Columbia, I was given the boot.
I was able to vote provisionally, although I don’t know if my vote will count. I got my sticker though, goddamnit, and that’s good enough.
Oh, and I voted for Clinton. Leave your high-fives (Sam) and disapproving gazes (Mike) in the comments.