Archive for the ‘Cranks’ Category

Double Standards: Now completely transparent!

Shorter Andy “Birther” McCarthy: Declines in the stock market are always the fault of President Obama.  However, it’s absolutely preposterous to suggest that an increase in stock prices is any way attributable to him.

It seems we have yet another graduate of the Larry Kudlow School of Market Analysis (motto:  “If the stock market is moving in any direction, it’s doing so to reinforce my beliefs.”)

Oh, and I’m posting here again.  w00t!

Crazy People are the Best People

The LaRouche Youth Movement is currently occupying the corner outside my office.  Judging by the signs, their new object of hate is apparently the UK:

“USA and Russia:  Friends Don’t Let Friends Get Screwed by British Imperialism”

“Socialism & Capitalism:  Two dirty British words.”

This is pretty pathetic.  They lack the imagination to come up with any new conspiracy theories, so they’ve dug up ones from the 19th Century.  C’mon, LaRouchies!  If I wanted half-assed paranoia, I’d go to No Quarter.  Stop slacking, you guys.

Vastleft is a bugfucker

Just doing my part.

Welcome to Crazytown

An anonymous web commenter claims to work for the Obama campaign and have knowledge of a vast conspiracy to rig poll results, manipulate the media, and “infiltrate YouTube videos” on behalf of the Obama campaign.  The comment is in reply to a post at Hillbuzz where the author thinks an audiotape of Michelle Obama saying all sorts of craziness is about to be released because her traffic is down.  And of course, said audiotape is supposedly a recording from when Michelle called up the folks at a wordpress blog.  A wordpress blog that said they were going to release the tape a week ago and still haven’t.

So again, a crazy implausible story set in the comments of another crazy implausible post about a third crazy implausible story.  All of which have absolutely no evidence behind them.  Riverdaughter’s reaction:

We have no confirmation that Sarah P. is what she says she is but her story sure sounds right. It’s what we have independently observed since the beginning of the primary season.  Sarah’s testimony is very plausible.  It is one big game of psychological warfare perpetrated on us by Obama and his sneaky campaign.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, she’s finally lost it.  Riverdaughter has certainly never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, but this is just magical thinking at it’s worst.  In this post, you have seen Riverdaughter lose her last bit of critical thinking faculty, and really, it’s just fucking sad.

I imagine this “confession” is so appealing to Riverdaughter because it strokes her and the other PUMAs’ egos in just the right way.  From the comment at Hillbuzz:

We pay people and organize people to go to all the online sites and “play the part of a clinton or mccain supporter who just switched our support for obama”

We do this to stifle your motivation and to destroy your confidence.

We did this the whole primary and it worked.

Next, we infiltrate all the blogs and all the youtube videos and overwhelm the voting, the comments, etc. All to continue this appearance of overwhelming world support.

This brilliantly validates the persecution complex Riverdaughter and the rest of PUMAs have been cultivating since the primaries.  Despite all facts to the contrary, they have a psychological need to feel that their enemies care about them, and that world events are transpiring exactly the way they wish.  They want to be persecuted, because it means that their movement is important and powerful.  So Riverdaughter relies on an anyonymous internet comment rather than empirical data, because the latter is not telling her exactly what she wants to hear.  No one really disagrees with her, they’re just all paid hacks.  And Obama’s not really winning, it’s just one massive conspiracy to deny the TROOF!

I tell you what, Riverdaughter, maybe you’re right, maybe the Obama campaign is doing everything this “Sarah P.” says they are.  How do you know she’s not one of the paid hacks?  Did you think of that?  Maybe she posted this comment to make you and all the other PUMAs complacent.  It’s psy-ops at it’s worst!

Let me let you in on a little secret, Riverdaughter:  Sarah P. is really Michelle Obama.  How do I know this?  Well because she called me up the other day.  She told me that she’s doing her best to ratfuck the PUMAs, because in reality there are millions of them and they could swing the election to McCain.  She even mentioned you personally, saying how dangerous you were because you were convincing millions of Hillary voters to vote for McCain or stay home.  Little did Michelle know that I recorded the whole conversation, and I’ll be posting it here tomorrow.  This is going to blow the election wide open.

Everyone named Joseph is a sanctimonious prick

At least that what I’d have to conclude if I subscribed to the logic of one Joseph Cannon.  Displaying his usual penchant for preeing sanctimoniousness and righteous anger, Joseph waxes hyberbolic at his blog today, noting that the mugging of Ashley Todd obviously indicates that:

Obama has given rise to a Mao-like cult of personality. He has never done anything to rein in these Messianic illusions — in fact, he has fostered them. That attitude gives him indirect responsibility for the violence committed and threatened by his followers.

Riiiiiiiight.  Nevermind the fact that according to her own story, she was mugged before the attacker saw the McCain sticker on her car (meaning the attack was not initially political).  Or that noted liberal Michelle Malkin thinks it’s possible that this might be a hoax.  No, to Joseph, this obviously means that rioting horde of Obama supporters will launching pogroms tomorrow, wiping out all unbelievers of the One.

Ye gods.

This is, of course, Joseph’s schtick:  guilt by association run amok.  One Obama supporter (most likely mentally deranged) committs an act of violence, thus the millions of other Obama supporters in this country are about to start killing everyone.  And Barack Obama himself is ultimately responsible, because…well, because Joseph hates him a lot.  As an Obama supporter, I take personal offense that Joseph thinks I’m about to start murdering people, but Joe’s pretty set in his persecution complex, so I doubt he gives a rat’s ass.

Incidentally, this is basically how Joseph became an Obama hater in the first place.  He supported Hillary Clinton in the primaries (as did I), and he got into internet spats with some people at Daily Kos and Democratic Underground, so he blamed their meanness on Barack Obama, and became an anyone-but-Obama voter.  Now to someone who’s life doesn’t revolve around DK and DU, that might seem like an extemely petty and stupid reason to completely change one’s political ideology, but ole Joe’s been running with it since the primaries.

So following Joseph’s lead, I’m just going to assume from now on that all people that share his name are sanctimonious hyperbolic pricks.  And should anyone ever cross me, whether they be an 18 year old in his parents’ basement going by the handle of “drfunky571992” or merely a two year old who calls me “poopyface”, I’m going to ultimately blame their actions on one Joseph Cannon.  I’m fraught with anticipation for my new life of lonliness and crippling anger.

UPDATE (10/24/2008 1:49 PM EDT): Ashley Todd just admitted she made the whole thing up.  I’m sure a correction from Joseph will be forthcoming.

PUMA Lies: A quick review

1. Gary ChapelHill, last week at the Confluence:

By writing some amazingly racist crap, he thinks he is standing up to racism.  Extraoridinary behavior…we really should have some anthropologists look into it.  I guess what he is trying to do is criticize the magazine cover, which is obviously satirizing the far-right rumor mill (which, incidentally has never been something the PUMA movement has resorted to, we don’t need rumors, the facts are quite damning all by themselves).

Bold mine.

He…ha…haha….BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Either Gary is blatantly lying here, or he’s never read a PUMA site other than his own.  Here’s a list, not at all inclusive, of sites in the Just Say No Deal coalition that regularly traffic in Obama rumors, whether they be Larry Sinclair, the whitey tape, the “fake’ birth certificate, or whatnot:

And that’s just off the top of my head.  I swear I’m forgetting someone, though.  Oh wait, I know, The Confluence!  For why, see #2, which lies below the fold with some more PUMA untruths.

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Larry Johnson Knows Black People

This is some racist shit, right here:

So, by declaring that Barack–the man with a white mother and white grandparents–is talking down to “black” folk, are you ready to make the case that Barack is a honky hiding as a black man. Man up, dude. Just admit that for you told the truth and you liked how it felt. Made my day.

Let’s face it. Jesse Jackson is from Chicago and knows Chicago politics. He knows Barack–good and bad. And today Jesse was pointing out the fact that when it comes to the African American community Barack is a poseur. He is not really leading black people or fighting on their behalf; and he is certainly not ready to lead America.

[Bold mine]

Like Ralph Nader before him, Larry Johnson of Obama-hate site No Quarter knows what’s best for African-Americans.  Worse than Nader, though, he also supposes himself to be an arbiter of blackness.  Flowbee, from his privileged enlightened position as a middle-aged white man apparently is best positioned to determine who is “black enough” and who is not, and he’s found the presumptive Democratic nominee wanting.

PUMAs seem to think that it’s only racism if someone uses the n-word, so obviously no one will be rushing to remove No Quarter from their blogrolls anytime soon (check around the PUMAsphere, NQ is on every single blogroll).  If PUMAs want to stop being unfairly tarred as racists, they would do well to not associate with racists! Or, as the Specials say:

Adventures in Faux Populism

During the primaries, TalkLeft was a home for Hillary Clinton supporters and the Clinton message, which is all fine and good. Unfortunately, this support often manifested itself as class warfare, with posters commonly using the term “creative class” as a pejorative and trumpeting how Clinton’s support from Latinos and the white working class was somehow morally superior to Barack Obama’s support from educated whites and African-Americans. This was maddening, chiefly because all of TalkLeft’s writers are attorneys and thus far from being any sort of working class stiffs, secondly because it bought into right-wing framing of Democrats as elitists and middle-American uneducated people as the only “real” Americans. The shift to working class triumphalism at TalkLeft seemed driven by political circumstance rather than conviction. In short, it reeked of phoniness.

Thus, it was interesting to see Jeralyn note with dismay that Obama was reaching in out to young Catholics and Evangelicals.

Why would evangelicals and Catholics support a pro-choice candidate? Is he planning on modifying his position? Are his campaign speeches going to incorporate religion even more than they have in the past?

Where is this headed?

It’s fine for Obama to be religious and spiritual in his personal life. I don’t think either belongs in Government.

Let’s forget for a second that “asking religious people for their votes” and “instituting Christian theocracy” are completely different things, or that the article she links to states that Obama won’t be changing any of his positions:

Yes, the Obama campaign understands that the issue of abortion is a problem for some voters of faith. They respect that and understand if some just simply can’t come on board because of that. However, they look at this project as a way of broadening the values discussion. Poverty, Darfur, Climate Change and yes, even the war are issues younger Evangelicals may be able to see eye to eye on with the Obama campaign.

No, what’s hilarious in all this is that working class whites and Latinos are very religious, and the “creative class” TalkLeft loves to hate are by far the more secular type. Jeralyn is upset that Obama is courting the very voters her site proclaims to champion! Oy vey!

Our next example of faux populist hypocrisy comes from the PUMA brigade over at Corrente, specifically chief angry mofo Lambert.

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Profiles in Insanity

The folks over at Corrente today are insinuating that Obama’s fundraising is nothing more than a huge money laundering scam. And they’re being serious. Apparently the Clinton die-hards in the blogosphere are now looking to 9/11 troofers for tactical guidance.

Brad at Sadly, No! seems to think that Lambert was sane at one point, but his descent into paranoid conspiracy mongering speaks to a mind that’s been troubled for quite a while.

The value of fact checking

Larry Kudlow at the Corner:

One of the things we’ve learned during the Democratic primary battle is that Hillary’s victories are bullish for stocks and Obama’s wins are bearish. The clearest example was Hillary’s massive West Virginia victory. Stocks opened strong the following day. But after Obama’s big North Carolina win, a night he also carried Indiana, stocks opened way down. The trend held true after Obama won Pennsylvania. Even though Hillary clocked Obama in Kentucky, since Obama took Oregon convincingly, he really carried last night’s elections and now stands on the verge of gaining the Democratic nomination. Not surprisingly, stocks opened down 80 points this morning.

As anyone with access to a newspaper, magazine, computer, or television knows, Obama lost Indiana and Pennsylvania. Furthermore, stocks had been going down since midday Monday, so it seems correlation doesn’t necessarily imply causation (shocking, I know). This is the top-grade economic analysis Corner readers have come to expect.

UPDATE: Shortly after I posted this, someone on the Corner removed the reference to Pennsylvania and changed the wording of another so that it read that Obama had “nearly carried” Indiana.  Both corrections aren’t acknowledged, so it seems Kudlow’s trying to silently cover his ass here.  In true Corner form, though, neither of these corrections warranted any changes to Kudlow’s main thesis.  As usual.