Stay classy, Uppity Woman

From No Quarter:

Thats some nice racism right there.

And yet PUMAs are constantly mystified why people accuse them of racism.  Ye gods.

Crazy People are the Best People

The LaRouche Youth Movement is currently occupying the corner outside my office.  Judging by the signs, their new object of hate is apparently the UK:

“USA and Russia:  Friends Don’t Let Friends Get Screwed by British Imperialism”

“Socialism & Capitalism:  Two dirty British words.”

This is pretty pathetic.  They lack the imagination to come up with any new conspiracy theories, so they’ve dug up ones from the 19th Century.  C’mon, LaRouchies!  If I wanted half-assed paranoia, I’d go to No Quarter.  Stop slacking, you guys.

Vastleft is a bugfucker

Just doing my part.

Just join the GOP already

Dalinkat over at the Confluence is bragging about a video that exposes Obama voters as the idiots and brainwashed bots she always thought they were.  As it turns out, though, the video is the result of a  right-wing push poll run by John Zogby, the worst pollster alive.  I am shocked that the Confluence would be involved in such obvious ratfuckery. 

What I don’t get is Dalinkat’s post title.  The “Obama voter gene pool”?  What does that even mean?  It’s not like all Obama voters share any sort of heritible characteristics…oh right, she’s talking about black people again.  “The Confluence:  We’re Not Racists, We Just Think Many Stereotypes About Black People Are True.”

 

Also, I’d like to thank myiq2xu for creating this conspiracty theory thread.  It’s quite useful for anti-PUMAs such as myself to have thread where all Conflucians’ batshit insanity is consolidated in one place.  Myiq2xu might have well titled this post “Please Show The Internet That You’re a Complete Idiot”.

Future grandchildren, pay attention

I spent most of tonight at 11th and U Streets NW, where a giant fucking party was going on.   Even if I get fired tomorrow, I will never, ever, forget hanging with hundreds of people, playing my horn at Black Broadway.  God (or his non-union Mexican equivalent) bless America.

Prediction

As today is Election Day, I should probably get around to responding to the prediction meme Jamelle tagged me with last week.   Here goes nothing:

[Stupid wordpress apparently doesn’t like embedding things, so here’s the link.]

I have Obama winning North Carolina mainly to piss off Gary ChapelHill.

I’m voting around lunchtime today, and I’ll post my ballot here shortly afterward.  Because I live in the District of Columbia, I am obligated to go out tonight to justify my residence here.  I’ll either be at the League of Conservation Voters party or at Capitol Lounge, the old standby.  If anything particularly memorable happens at either of these places, I’ll be sure to post a recap.  Remember that exit polls are only useful when they’re complete, i.e., not during the election, and have a great day.

My sole endorsement

I have a very low-traffic blog, so I know damn well that my endorsement of anyone for any office would be an exercise in self-wankery and have very little impact.  I know most of the people who read this, and those I don’t know can likely acertain which politicians I support by simply reading the blog.  There are very few races where I feel that my opinion, let alone an official endorsement, could sway any votes.

This year, however, I’ve found a race where the vote tally is small and my friends seem to be trending in the wrong direction:  the non-Democrat At-Large seat for the DC City Council.  For some reason, some people I know think supporting incumbent Carol Schwartz (R) in her quixotic write-in campaign (she lost this year’s GOP primary) is a good idea.  Perhaps it’s Ms. Schwartz tendency to call everyone “hon”, maybe it’s her status as a gay camp icon, but it certainly can’t be because she supports any good policies.   Simply put, Carol Schwartz is a horrible candidate.

Therefore, I am officially endorsing Patrick Mara (R) for at-large City Council.  As Dave Alpert of Greater Greater Washington notes, Mara doesn’t own a car, bikes to work, and is supportive of bike- and pedestrian-friendly initiatives.  And as a Republican, he’s likely to oppose all sorts of onerous over-zoning of the city.  If we must have a Republican on the council, better to have one that thinks we live in a city as opposed to one that thinks of DC as a glorified suburb.

P.S. Independent (but really Democratic) candidate Michael Brown is also running for this seat.  All I know about Michael Brown is that he’s run for nearly every elected office in the District of Columbia, from mayor to shadow senator, and he’s lost handily every time.  I think it’s our duty as citizens to make sure he gets the hint this time.

UPDATE (10/30/2008): Matthew Yglesias and Dave Alpert also endorse Mara.

Welcome to Crazytown

An anonymous web commenter claims to work for the Obama campaign and have knowledge of a vast conspiracy to rig poll results, manipulate the media, and “infiltrate YouTube videos” on behalf of the Obama campaign.  The comment is in reply to a post at Hillbuzz where the author thinks an audiotape of Michelle Obama saying all sorts of craziness is about to be released because her traffic is down.  And of course, said audiotape is supposedly a recording from when Michelle called up the folks at a wordpress blog.  A wordpress blog that said they were going to release the tape a week ago and still haven’t.

So again, a crazy implausible story set in the comments of another crazy implausible post about a third crazy implausible story.  All of which have absolutely no evidence behind them.  Riverdaughter’s reaction:

We have no confirmation that Sarah P. is what she says she is but her story sure sounds right. It’s what we have independently observed since the beginning of the primary season.  Sarah’s testimony is very plausible.  It is one big game of psychological warfare perpetrated on us by Obama and his sneaky campaign.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, she’s finally lost it.  Riverdaughter has certainly never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, but this is just magical thinking at it’s worst.  In this post, you have seen Riverdaughter lose her last bit of critical thinking faculty, and really, it’s just fucking sad.

I imagine this “confession” is so appealing to Riverdaughter because it strokes her and the other PUMAs’ egos in just the right way.  From the comment at Hillbuzz:

We pay people and organize people to go to all the online sites and “play the part of a clinton or mccain supporter who just switched our support for obama”

We do this to stifle your motivation and to destroy your confidence.

We did this the whole primary and it worked.

Next, we infiltrate all the blogs and all the youtube videos and overwhelm the voting, the comments, etc. All to continue this appearance of overwhelming world support.

This brilliantly validates the persecution complex Riverdaughter and the rest of PUMAs have been cultivating since the primaries.  Despite all facts to the contrary, they have a psychological need to feel that their enemies care about them, and that world events are transpiring exactly the way they wish.  They want to be persecuted, because it means that their movement is important and powerful.  So Riverdaughter relies on an anyonymous internet comment rather than empirical data, because the latter is not telling her exactly what she wants to hear.  No one really disagrees with her, they’re just all paid hacks.  And Obama’s not really winning, it’s just one massive conspiracy to deny the TROOF!

I tell you what, Riverdaughter, maybe you’re right, maybe the Obama campaign is doing everything this “Sarah P.” says they are.  How do you know she’s not one of the paid hacks?  Did you think of that?  Maybe she posted this comment to make you and all the other PUMAs complacent.  It’s psy-ops at it’s worst!

Let me let you in on a little secret, Riverdaughter:  Sarah P. is really Michelle Obama.  How do I know this?  Well because she called me up the other day.  She told me that she’s doing her best to ratfuck the PUMAs, because in reality there are millions of them and they could swing the election to McCain.  She even mentioned you personally, saying how dangerous you were because you were convincing millions of Hillary voters to vote for McCain or stay home.  Little did Michelle know that I recorded the whole conversation, and I’ll be posting it here tomorrow.  This is going to blow the election wide open.

Nana nana nana nana

So I uncharacteristically ended up going out to some clubs this weekend (I’m usually a bar man).  Who did I happen to spy on the other side of the dance floor?

That’s right, Hipster Batman.

He was no where near as suave as I imagined he’d be.

Everyone named Joseph is a sanctimonious prick

At least that what I’d have to conclude if I subscribed to the logic of one Joseph Cannon.  Displaying his usual penchant for preeing sanctimoniousness and righteous anger, Joseph waxes hyberbolic at his blog today, noting that the mugging of Ashley Todd obviously indicates that:

Obama has given rise to a Mao-like cult of personality. He has never done anything to rein in these Messianic illusions — in fact, he has fostered them. That attitude gives him indirect responsibility for the violence committed and threatened by his followers.

Riiiiiiiight.  Nevermind the fact that according to her own story, she was mugged before the attacker saw the McCain sticker on her car (meaning the attack was not initially political).  Or that noted liberal Michelle Malkin thinks it’s possible that this might be a hoax.  No, to Joseph, this obviously means that rioting horde of Obama supporters will launching pogroms tomorrow, wiping out all unbelievers of the One.

Ye gods.

This is, of course, Joseph’s schtick:  guilt by association run amok.  One Obama supporter (most likely mentally deranged) committs an act of violence, thus the millions of other Obama supporters in this country are about to start killing everyone.  And Barack Obama himself is ultimately responsible, because…well, because Joseph hates him a lot.  As an Obama supporter, I take personal offense that Joseph thinks I’m about to start murdering people, but Joe’s pretty set in his persecution complex, so I doubt he gives a rat’s ass.

Incidentally, this is basically how Joseph became an Obama hater in the first place.  He supported Hillary Clinton in the primaries (as did I), and he got into internet spats with some people at Daily Kos and Democratic Underground, so he blamed their meanness on Barack Obama, and became an anyone-but-Obama voter.  Now to someone who’s life doesn’t revolve around DK and DU, that might seem like an extemely petty and stupid reason to completely change one’s political ideology, but ole Joe’s been running with it since the primaries.

So following Joseph’s lead, I’m just going to assume from now on that all people that share his name are sanctimonious hyperbolic pricks.  And should anyone ever cross me, whether they be an 18 year old in his parents’ basement going by the handle of “drfunky571992” or merely a two year old who calls me “poopyface”, I’m going to ultimately blame their actions on one Joseph Cannon.  I’m fraught with anticipation for my new life of lonliness and crippling anger.

UPDATE (10/24/2008 1:49 PM EDT): Ashley Todd just admitted she made the whole thing up.  I’m sure a correction from Joseph will be forthcoming.